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Writer's pictureScott Robinson

Hot Nerd Talk



So what are you wearing right now?

An Apple watch

Tell me EVERYTHING you're wearing right now!

An Apple watch

See, now I won't be able to work

Focus, perv boy 

Does our planned rendezvous remain propitious?

You mean are we still going out this weekend? 

It depends. What do you have in mind?

 Your most indulgent culinary preferences, followed by stimulating cultural exhibitions, followed by private repose in either of our domiciles

Ah

Private repose, you say

Salubrious interpersonal congress, frivolous persiflage, moderate ingestion of vintage ethanol, accompanied by the finest recordings of the most notable post-Enlightenment troubadours

Caruso? Ghiaurov?

I was thinking Barry White

followed by a precoital osculation interregnum

Osculation?

Or suaviation, if you like

Whatever your term of preference, it is the transfer of testosterone from my bloodstream to yours, through absorption by your oral mucosa, followed by immediate conversion to estradiol by aromatase

This will lead to a comfortable state of mutual dishabille

I'm swooning

Next will come manual invigoration of the epidermis, eliciting the release of copious quantities of oxytocin

swoon swoon

and prolactin

😍

extending gradually to include piquant oral exploration of your areolae, perineum, and introitus

You make it sound so very hot

I know, right?

Well don't stop now, you're on a roll

We will then proceed to DNA transfer

🙄

This activity will culminate with fecund intimate congress, initiated with the invigoration of the crura through the anterior mucosa wall

Invigoration...

Invigoration, followed by invagination, followed by insemination

'Invagination' isn't a word

Mr. Webster begs to differ

Sounds somewhat invasive

It is not without its rewards

Properly executed and sufficiently sustained, it will provide you with repeated spasmic contractions of your pubococcygeus muscle

😏

By the way, you haven't asked me what I'm wearing

Pray tell

My Batman onesie

See, now I won't be able to work

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